Wildlife humor and funny storys

Im hopeing it is ok to do one of these. Iv had a death in the family and other things are going on so I’m useing humor to help me cope so I want to make people laugh and also I have this sort of humor anyway
So Iv noticed that a lot of Wildlife names for species happen to mean another thing too like Red Kite and Red Kite in the sky and next I find a whole load of other names that can be used in conversation that I can’t help but turn into a joke
Not all these scanrios are true cause I’m good at useing my imagination to tell jokes and Storys but I hope you enjoy them

one day I was out somewhere and a family member who knows I like Wildlife who tells me if they see a bird of prey was exited and said I saw a kite! In a exited tone of voice and I said really? Where? So I looked around and they said a Red Kite I’m going to get one from the shop and I was like oh

hopefully we will have a whale of a time.
With these jokes

so i went for a walk and happen to come across some common Scoters the children were rideing them I havnt seen them for a long time since.

I also saw a common Woodpigeon and a common blackbird. I also saw a lot of common shops

i hope I’m not B rambling on too much

Some people went bird watching one of them was desperate to find a particular bird and the other birdwatcher next to him happened to be after the same one. They split up but the other one had the redstart (head start) in this one

And the one that didnt get the Redstart was Raven mad

one day there was some fishers having a fishing competition not all of them managed to catch fish some did some didn’t someone spotted something bright blue comeing in fast then they saw a big fish in the water one of them thought

gannet be? Gannet-can it

they tryed to reel it in but the real (king) fisher ) was the one that caught (the big one) this time

what do you get when you cross a cuckoo with a warbler? A cuckoo warbler

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Don’t get me started on the Robin. some Wildlife can Rob in (Robin) nests if eggs are left un a tended. Some people are avocets (advocates)

don’t get me started on that one either

What do you get when you cross a bird with a shell? A shelduck

we have some people turning into avocets or already are avocets cause they care about wildlife and conservation and ducks evolving from shells or into shells.
And there not the only ones
What do you get if you cross a butterfly with a shell? A tortoiseshell
And then all butterflys are named after butter even though they don’t look like butter

There’s a belief that the word butterfly originally specifically applied to the Brimstone. The idea that butterfly originated as a spoonerism of flutterby appears to be a myth, even though flutterby wouldn’t be a bad name for butterflies.

There’s a classic joke about owls finding it “to wet to woo”.

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That sounds funny. Hopefully there not too wet to woo

you know I wonder if there actually is an owl out there too wet to woo at the moment

eider be careful and try not to get in a flap about it if I was him

I’m surprised no one has put a post up about Lionesses!

I don’t watch sports so im not interested in it and I don’t understand the trend either. The RSPB site has decided to portray birds as teams in the lioness match and I dont get that unless there raiseing money for lionesses, or there was a actual lioness at the match. but even if there was unless it’s been tamed that would be a problem the term lioness even though it’s feminine does sound like a queen lion or something
So if I see one wearing a crown or a medal one day Il know why

I remember my Dad saying: ‘Why did the cow slip?’
‘Because she saw the bull rush.’

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Thats funny. Sounds like the Bull was in a right rush

Warning: this may be the worst joke known to man.
Not exactly wildlife - more natural environment.
What does the sea say to the beach as the tide goes out?
Nothing: it just waves.

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Thats very cheerful and natural thing of the sea to do. It might get abit spooky for the beach when it’s too stormy or too windy though it might wave too much for the beaches liking. under normal conditions however the Waveing of the waves should be fine

Just Try to remember to say hello back to the waves waving if you ever find yourself there on the beach again one day

What do you get when you cross a bird and a dragon with a fly? A cuckoo bird dragonfly
Yes it does look cuckoo but that’s the idea
Just be careful of the ability to breath fire and you should be fine. Its a defense mechanism so just don’t make it feell threatened that’s the best you can do not only that it’s a dragonfly that lays eggs in the nest of a specific species that lives in the same habitat

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The paper today has the ten best one-liners from the Edinburgh fringe.
The winner was; I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah.
But I thought some of the others were much funnier.
How do coeliac Germans greet each other? Gluten tag. That would have got my vote.
Not much to do with wildlife, I admit.

Why can’t you get headache tablets in the jungle?
Parrots ate 'em all.

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Scottish newspaper headline - Super Caley go ballistic, Celtic are atrocious


Where do moth criminals get sent? Wormwood pugs.

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It may need some explanation for those who don’t follow Scottish cup football. I guess the wildlife connection is Onopordum acanthium.

What do you get if you cross an ant with a lemon?
A fungus gnat.

Those are very funny

I was typing something today and I put I saw a moorhen drinking but auto correct corrected me and put I saw a moorhen driving

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